Jen's Head
By T'Pau
The room was like any other, with few exceptions. The most notable of which were the SKU numbers painted on the walls in a variety of fonts, and the fact that, even though there was no lighting to speak of, each person in the room seemed to have their own spotlight. There were six such spotlights trained on three groups of couples.
The first couple were of an age, somewhere in their early forties. She had dark hair, worn long and wavy. Her clothing was dark and business like, the skirts coming to just above her knees. When she strode from corner to corner of the room, she did so on one-inch heels. He, on the other hand, had white hair, although he too was dressed in a very business like fashion. He seemed to follow his partner doggedly, almost slavishly. The others in the room had been surprised to learn that he was, in fact, the higher ranking of the two. These were "Paul" and "Madeline".
The second couple had more of a father/daughter relationship. He also had gray hair, yet his clothing could only be referred to as business casual. He had a faint accent, and a humorous twinkle in his eye. His partner was tall, thin and wore her dark brown hair at shoulder length. When she strode around the room on two-inch heels, the other men were treated to the sight of long, slender legs under her thigh length skirts. No one was surprised to learn that she was the more powerful of the two. These were "Sydney" and "Miss Parker".
The third couple had only recently appeared. They wore standard Starfleet uniforms of red and black. His most prominent feature was the tattoo, which covered half his face. Hers was her extremely nasal voice. No one was quite sure who had the power in this relationship, although both claimed that the female was in charge. She was "Janeway" and he "Chakotay".
All three couples tended to ignore the others, for the most part. It had been too confusing to try to amalgamate the three realities.
#
"Paul, I think we should be expecting another 'guest' shortly." Madeline stated.
"Something coming through in the simulation?" Paul asked.
"No," she rolled her eyes, "The room is starting to expand again, as it's done each time prior to a new arrival."
While the others pretended not to hear, everyone began making their preparations. Janeway and Chakotay pulled out their tri-corders, hoping to record the phenomenon and possibly figure out an escape plan. Sydney watched his "roommates" with a clinical fascination. Miss Parker crossed her legs, revealing a fraction more leg.
"Can we get Birkoff to run numbers on the likely outcome?" Paul asked.
"Not unless we can actually get Birkoff in here." Was Madeline's dry reply.
As a new spotlight formed in the middle of the room, faintly at first, then building in intensity, all eyes were drawn to the coalescing form. The new person was male, approximately 45 years of age, with dark hair sprinkled liberally with white.
"Too old." Miss Parker announced. "I need a drink."
"Your ulcer, Miss Parker." Reminded Sydney.
"My ulcer can get its own drink." She snapped.
"Chakotay?" Janeway asked.
"Nothing, Captain." He shrugged.
A gasp of surprise drew all eyes to Madeline, including the newcomer. The instant recognition was obvious. "Maddie?"
"Charles?" Her voice was hesitant.
"Charles!" Paul's was not. "Section had him marked for abeyance!"
"You what?" Madeline and Charles spoke in unison.
"Uh oh." Snickered Miss Parker. "Trouble in paradise."
Before the conversation could continue, another tremor in the walls could be felt. Tri-corders came up, more leg was exposed, and Charles moved closer to Madeline, and out of the way of the new spotlight.
The new addition was a man with short dark hair and rugged good looks. He gazed about the room in awe.
"Now we're talking." Miss Parker purred.
"Where am I?" The man asked. "Who are you all?"
"We'll ask the questions." Paul instructed, but a quick glance at Madeline and Charles, who had begun smiling at each other, quickly quieted him.
"Chakotay?" Janeway asked again.
"Nothing Captain." He replied again.
"Useless as my brother." Miss Parker sighed.
At the newcomer's incomprehension, Sydney stepped forward and spoke. "We're not exactly sure where we are, and only vaguely sure _who_ we are. Maybe if you told us your name, it would help put all the pieces in place."
"My name is Wally/Ned," the stranger answered. "That help?"
"No." Sydney decided and moved back to Miss Parker's side.
"Listen, handsome," Miss Parker announced standing and striding to his side, "This is how I see it. We're not really here."
"What?" he squawked.
"What?" the others chimed in.
"Use your brains, people." Miss Parker instructed. "This room has no exit. The walls are covered with random numbers and writing styles. New people keep popping in all the time."
The others exchanged glances and shrugs. Miss Parker had obviously put the knowledge that everyone shared into a pattern that no one else had.
"My god!" she exclaimed. "It's so simple, even Broots would understand!"
Sydney chuckled at the reference. Everyone else continued to stare.
"What's so simple?" prompted Chakotay when Miss Parker failed to continue.
"You mean, besides your 'captain'?" she smiled viciously and paused just long enough for him to get a hold of Janeway. "We are all figments of someone's imagination. Probably some fan fic writer, from the looks of it."
After a goodly amount of time, the shouting lowered to a minimum and the group was able to clarify a few details. First, the Writer appeared to work in a retail position, hence the SKU numbers. Secondly, since their most recent addition had two names, Wally/Ned was an actual person fantasized about rather than written about. (This pleased Wally/Ned to no end.) This
also produced a stronger probability that the Writer was female. It wasn't a sure thing but, for the group's purposes, they chose to refer to their almighty as Her. Unfortunately, no one was able to figure out a way to escape their prison.
"So what do we do with this knowledge?" Wally/Ned asked Miss Parker.
"Well, since the gruesome twosome over there keep claiming 'Prime Directive non-interference'," she responded, ignoring Janeway's glare, "And the three stooges have their hands full figuring out how a menage a trois works ."
"Go on." Sydney prompted, looking over at Madeline holding hands with a scowling Paul and Charles on either side.
"We mess with Her head." Miss Parker concluded.
"Pardon?" said Wally/Ned.
"Cute, but not too bright." Miss Parker commented to Sydney. She turned back to Wally/Ned. "What I mean is we make it impossible for Her to ignore us. We start conversations loud enough for Her to hear at the most inopportune moments, like at Her boring job or the dentist. Make Her suffer until she either writes about us, or goes insane."
"Will that work?" asked Wally/Ned, looking to Sydney for his opinion.
"It couldn't hurt." Was the non-committal reply.
"I mean, will that get us out of here?" clarified Wally/Ned.
"Probably not." Admitted Miss Parker. "After all, Maddie and Paul have been here longer than everyone else. And, presumably, She's used them in a story or two."
"Then what's the point?" Wally/Ned whined.
"The point is," Miss Parker said, pressing herself up against Wally/Ned and caressing his face with a perfectly manicured hand, "At least I will be happy."
