NUMBER 13

Dear former potential contributor,

At this time your manuscript does not meet our current or foreseeable future requirements. Alas, time constraints and the imminent shredding of your manuscript forbid a personal reply, but the following list of common faults may be of some help. You have perhaps made one or two of the these foibles; many contributors make several; you may be among the untalented few who make all. Better luck in future dealings with our competitors.

Please use proper manuscript format. Calligraphy is a fine hobby, but has limited uses in the publishing world.

There are plenty of dictionaries out there -- get yourself one.

There are plenty of thesauri out there -- put yours away.

Your characters/plot/margin drawings too closely resembles Star Trek/Xfiles/Buffy/Farscape or other copywrited material.

Show, don't tell. At a minimum, show us something good.

Most sentences contains a noun and a verb. Aficionados of the English language may include additional parts of speech as well.

I guessed the ending after the first paragraph, eliminating the need to read the entire manuscript. Thank you.

Your use of vampires/time travel/galactic empires/robots/unicorns was interesting, but not interesting enough.

Your plot skeleton is missing a few bones.

We do not publish soft or hard porn/recipes/snuff stories/alien abduction testimonials or any combination thereof.

Your cover letter contained more than I need to know. BTW, sorry about mother's illness/money problems/mental health.

Sincerely,

Gorgon VonDatzois.

Editor, Amazing Fantastic Astounding Super Science Planet Stories