NUMBER 15

Miss Betty Sue Krofsky
111 Main Street
Mayberry, NC 98765

Dear Miss Krofsky:

Your mommy sent us your picture book story, but she really shouldn't have wasted our time.

If you were old enough to read on your own, you would know that it's not nice to illustrate a picture book with collages made from colored cat fur. I don't really care if Fluffy, Mittens and Ray allowed you to brush their fur every night for six months so you could collect the colors you needed, since I'm highly allergic to cats! My medications alone cost more than we would have paid you for the story.

Speaking of the story (please don't reply to this question), but what were you thinking? Chester Bunny is the most horrid picture book character we've ever seen. He is mean and nasty to his neighbors, and still the Wuzzle Bear falls in love with him? Grow up, kid! Even picture books have to make sense.

You are probably crying by now if mommy bothered to read this letter to you, but let me give you some advice. Finish Kindergarten, Grade School and High School. Then try writing again - maybe you will create something worth the postage. And next time, use brand name crayons - those cheap discount store crayons flaked right off the page.

I've attached an address list of other publishers. Please send any new stories to them. Anything you send us will be burned.

Sincerely,

Edgar Burlington
Temper Tantrum Books