NUMBER 16

Dear Author,

I would thank you for your latest submission, though I fear that you might mistake obligatory politeness for something resembling praise and thus encourage you to send another. Please know that nothing could be further from my intent. Indeed, I'd rather burn this manuscript than return it to you. It is only the thought of your incessant queries regarding this particular "work" (though I doubt there was much work involved in its creation) that stops me. If you can mangle simple prose in such a spectacularly horrific way, I shudder to think of what you could do to a letter.

Needless to say, I will not be purchasing your story. I have serious doubts that anyone would ever purchase this story, or any other that you might have the poor judgement to write. However, should you decide to torture the English language again, I beg that you send the results as far away from me as you can possibly manage. I doubt I could survive a second encounter.

Sincerely,
The Editor