NUMBER 21
Dear Author,
Having, out of a misplaced sense of duty, read a page too many of your manuscript before giving it a better life as toilet paper, I decided to recoup wasted time and avenge myself on some old enemies in the publishing business by inflicting copies on them disguised as submissions.
One of them - perhaps particularly offended by some combination of the racism, sick humour, puerile insensitivity, pathetic mispellings, and figuring out what the brown smudges smelled of - then forwarded copies to the Christian Coalition and the National Black United Front in a gesture of moral outrage. The members of these organizations then respectively interpreted your manuscript as obscene and racist.
In both cases copies were spammed rapidly throught the organizations, reaching a wide audience capable of appreciating your words for what they were worth. I expect to hear your name reviled when I turn the news on this evening. I have directed all death-threats to your current address so this e-mail should just about beat the mob to your door if you're lucky.
On second thought, I'll do the world a favour, and send it by post.
Sincerely,
Ed
