Abandon All Hope Ye Who Wrote To Us




Part I - Being Creative in an Eveel way

From Julie Czerneda at her sff.net newsgroup:
Write a rejection letter in 250 words or less, that will leave no skin unscathed on a poor author. (No profanity or unlikely physical arrangements please - family 'group) Send the letter to me (I can't believe I'm asking for this). I will collect them all, post them at once, then we'll all vote on the Most Vile. The winner will receive a certificate of Foul Achievement, plus a signed book of mine of their choice. Which I hope won't be rejected.


Part 2 - Who Was that Eveel Writer!!!!

Just to keep it interesting for those who don't enter, I'm going to post the letters and author names separately. The first person to correctly match the Poisoned Prose with the Person who Penned it? Wins a signed coverflat from HIDDEN IN SIGHT and a signed book of mine of their choice.


Here are the entries:

      Number One
      Number Two
      Number Three
      Number Four
      Number Five
      Number Six
      Number Seven
      Number Eight
      Number Nine
      Number Ten
      Number Eleven
      Number Twelve
      Number Thirteen
      Number Fourteen
      Number Fifteen
      Number Sixteen
      Number Seventeen
      Number Eighteen
      Number Nineteen
      Number Twenty
      Number Twenty-One
      Number Twenty-Two
      Number Twenty-Three
      Number Twenty-Four
      Number Twenty-Five
      Number Twenty-Six



And The Envelope Please

Your Vile Editors:
Letter # / Author
1 MM
2 Nathan
3 Steve (Picky)
4 Uriel
5 Kim
6 Uriel
7 Janet (BF)
8 Deidre
9 Deidre
10 Deidre
11 MM
12 Steven
13 Pat
14 JoMax
15 Sean
16 Karina
17 Mark
18 Mark
19 Tamela
20 Russell
21 David Brims
22 Uriel
23 Sarah Jane
24 Amanda
25 Amanda
26 Amanda

We are the Editors!

Amanda Maloney, actor and author, used all her guile and talent to write these three rejection letters. In fact, she had so many of these letters ready to go, so quickly, we suspect she moonlights as a slush reader for a major publisher.

David Brims (DDU), reader from Down Under, sent some of Australia's heat in his one rejection letter. Beware all who thought an Aussie letter would be a kinder one.

Deidre Saoirse Moen, author and bright new voice on the newsgroup, stepped up to her first contest with three rejection letters! Productivity and talent - a shame she's turned it to such a dark dark purpose.

Janet BF Chase, though busier than any human being has a right to be while still writing, wrote one rejection letter. How does she do it?

JoMax Christensen, writer and otherwise gentle soul, shows her truely evil editorial nature in one rejection letter. Shiver!!!!

Karina Sumner-Smith, reader and writer, sneaks in with one rejection letter and blows poor authors out of the water! What vile language! What talent!

Kim McLean, firespinner and geologist, as well as writer, seared authors everywhere with one rejection letter. Water! Water!

Mark Ladouceur, fantasy novelist, decided to write two rejection letters that will be worse than anything he might ever receive. We can only wish him luck.

Missouri Mike, published short story and non-fiction author, and hard sf maven who nonetheless strays into fish stories when encouraged, wrote two rejection letters. We can only hope he sticks to writing and is never an editor.

Nathaniel Azinger, creator of a wonderful adventure based on the quest for the missing Farscape videos and thus is terrifyingly ahead of this timeline in every sense, wrote one rejection letter. We can only hope Nathan turns his attention back to his quest and saves our show.

Pat Lundrigan, writer and man of wit, turned his attention to one rejection letter. It's probably just as well. These things can be dangerous!

Russell Davis, professional editor and author, probably won't admit this one rejection letter is the pattern for all those he sends. We hope to never know the truth!

Sarah Jane Elliott, published short story author and biologist, turned her talents into this one dreadful rejection letter. Shame on you, Sarah. Some poor author might get this one day.

Sean Fodera, tries to escape his next culinary fate with one rejection letter. Too late!! Too late!!! Pass the salt!

Steve Picray, reader extraordinaire and weekly author of sermons good for soul and mind, couldn't resist the urge to descend to editorial depths and wrote one rejection letter. Authors, be afraid.

Steven H. Silver, professional editor, reveals his true nature in just one rejection letter. Who now dares submit and risk his ire!?

Tamela DeMent, who seems such a sweet person, wrote one searing rejection letter that should scare authors from their keyboards. Way to shake down the industry!

Uriel, published short story author and beset by friends who would rather he write than eat, obediantly produced three rejection letters. We will be more careful what we ask for next time.


The Most Vile Letter!!!


Congratulations to Sarah Jane Elliott, for her legal machinations on behalf of hapless editors everywhere! Mind you, I don't see why it had to be addressed to me!!! Really. Would I haunt a poor editor? (GEV - you Don't Want to Know. A fiend, she is. A Fiend! I get no rest .. none .. where's that lawyer?)

Julie

**********

Mark Ladouceur has correctly matched all 26 vile editors to their letters! Or was it editors to their vile letters?